A parent can’t be with his/her child forever; neither to protect nor to accompany. But as our memories live on, so does our teachings. Every parent has lived on forever in a child’s heart through the lessons they taught them.
When it comes to motivate your child there are few thin lines you need to learn first. For a child, your filtering process of parenting can be a very life changing effort. So pay attention to the little one’s actions (and yours too).
Before getting on their nerves, ask yourself what do you want from them? Do you wish them to regularly follow the daily activities: doing their own homework, clean up their room, listening to you? For that you might want to start by showing how to do that. Children always learn by watching others. However, it might not work for them even then. It might be a faulty learning step that is stopping them to fully comprehend their study. In that case, you might want to help them by closely monitoring where they are getting it wrong. For other children, it can simply be about the fact that they are less motivated than others. They can have apathy for every activity. It’s better to talk it out with them in general conversation.
One of the good actions to take would be to show them every act will be followed by consequences. If they haven’t finished their homework for school tomorrow, simply put the verdict that they can’t go to play in the afternoon. They will know it’s something wrong they have done which has put them in that situation. That way, they know what’s right. Moreover, you teach them about the right values you adopt as a parent. The more they are acquainted with your values, the better able they are to shape their own.
Observe them. Children are eager to ask questions more than adults. It gives you a better chance to see what makes them tick if you are patient enough. Don’t push them to appease you with answers. It will only make them dishonest with you and you will not be able to know them. Show genuine curiosity in knowing why they are willing to do one thing but not the others. Learn that your job is not always to provide them solution. Do not give them the impression that they need to be perfect. Rather make them feel comfortable with their imperfections.
Let them explore. When you nudge them to pursue their curiosity, they become brave enough to inquire, explore and imagine. Every child needs to discover their own motivation and find their own path. Your job as a parent is to give them that exploring space where they can grow themselves. Otherwise, parents influence has always that cutting short effect on children. You may think parents being enmeshed is a good thing as it leads them to do the right things. This is where we tell you to draw the.
Children need to be treated and respected as adults if not deemed as one. It teaches them to respect their own opinion. In order to do that they need to feel as adult, an adult who is self-directed. Children doing right things out of fear or even out of appeasing their parents is the wrong means to do the right thing. The right side of the line is that you let them have the positive influence and support them to want to do the right thing by themselves.
As he learns to do the right things in life, he will also be learning the most important lesson one need: figuring out his own desires. Parents support in pursuing child’s own desires and the things he needs to do to make things happen will only affirm his self-motivation.
Here 10 things you should keep in mind to motivate your child:
1. Your behavior as parent: Your behavior as a parent should be uplifting. Ask yourself, are your behavior controlling and repelling your children away from yourself? In that case, you might want to change that.
2. Teach healthy competition: Encourage them to beat another competitor. Tell them how it’s about getting stronger and not being a bully to the competitor. Teach them to respect other’s strength.
3. Discover passion: Encourage the passion they have found for themselves and help them working towards it. Remind them how nothing is easy to build and how they need to keep doing what they want. Teach them to fight for their own passion.
4. Positivity: Nurture an optimistic and life affirming outlook for your child. It’s easy to get crawl in self-doubt whenever. From you they will learn to have that positivity for themselves.
5. Peer pressure: There are few take outs you need to get from peer pressure; intense peer pressure can be harmful for children’s psyche. But a healthy level of peer pressure can nudge them to t take on things they were not doing out of clumsiness. Like, they may finally put their name on a school talent show, they can participate in an athletic competition because their friends are doing so too.
6. Not fear, but excitement: Be excited for them instead of being afraid for what lies ahead. That way they learn to be excited about their big goals and don’t shy away from ambition. It’s an attitude that leaves a mentality of working hard towards their goals.
7. Social navigation: Notice how we learn things from our relationships in the society. The same is for children. Prep them up with social manners that give them confidence to meet with other people. Your kid’s well behaved manner is going to be praised in the community and he will learn to appreciate his own qualities.
8. Building confidence: Children can be lacking of confidence. In that case, it’s not a right move to set them up for various extra-curricular activities. Rather focus on one single activity they are passionate about and help them to take get skilled in that area. That way they will have an affirmation of their own mastery in a particular area. It’s a huge confidence booster to take on bigger challenges in later life.
9. Reward mentality: Children will be children. As a parent it’s okay to sometime bribe them with some candy or toys for good behavior. But do not set their expectation level high. The things that actually teach values by doing them should not be mistaken for a display upon payment. It may lead them to do the right thing but never for the right reasons. This can seriously havoc their value system and mess them up.
10. Principles: Teach your children to show some respect for the proper things in life. Teach them how winning competition can help him to be stronger but it never should be done at the cost adopting wrong means, such as, cheating, bullying other kids etc. it’s important to learn very early in life that winning fights by losing principles is not worth it and how it is actually losing even if they win. When they learn to cultivate these mentalities from childhood, they only attract friends with same values and principles. A child’s company is also a great source of motivation.